Hello 2009!

Countdown: 4 days until 2009 is officially here! I can't believe another year has passed already, it went by so quickly yet I think back to the beginning of it and so much has happened, so much that seems like forever ago already. It was a really great year, overall. There was happiness, laughter, love, drama, tears, arguments, forgiveness, butterflies, inspiration, support, growth, self-awareness, God's grace...I can't wait to see what 2009 holds. I can't wait to see where and who I'll be by this time next year. I'm encouraged and determined to really become the woman God has called me to be, to continue on this journey of discovering my place in this world.

I can't think about 2008 without saying how blessed I am to have my family. They have been and will always be the biggest part of my life -- they're my heart, my world, the reason I love life like I do. They humor me, put up with my stubborness, laugh at my immaturity, listen to my fears, love me for being me, accept me exactly as I am and understand me. I have found two of my best friends in my sisters, they're so great I've never felt a big need to find anyone better (they just can't compare). I honestly don't know what I'd do without them. My parents have undying love and grace, and patience (oh their patience). I always know what they'd like for me to do, what they think is best for me, but not once have they forced me to live my life according to their plan. I've been more sensitive to their opinion than they've probably ever wanted me to be, but in all honesty they've always allowed me to experience life the way I need to. They're so supportive, especially my mom. Every once in a great while my dad will do something that shows me how he feels about me, but my mom will tell me without shame how much she believes in me. She is amazing.

I'm ending 2008 looking forward, momentarily thinking back only to learn from mistakes or observe progress. Or marvel at how fun & beautiful life can be, even in the midst of shit. I haven't been a total screw up to this point, but I realize areas I have settled for the sake of being comfortable. Having recognized that, and not being happy with it at all, I've been doing some things to make myself uncomfortable. Things that are scary, but I am an adult and dag-nabbit we all have to do it at some point (ie working long hours, more bills, making career plans...). There's a part of me that has been afraid to completely grow up, because I'm afraid of losing myself in adulthood. What if I'm not fun anymore? What if I become boring, serious, stressed, frustrated, angry at the world and pissed at the people I love? I guess that isn't adulthood, that's what adults become when they let the hardships of life get to them. I don't want to become that person, ever. I want to gain wisdom, maturity, and growth while staying fun-loving, spontaneous, and soft.
Anyway. So I have a goal for myself this next year: To make myself incredibly uncomfortable! I learn so much and become so much stronger after I've walked through something I thought might kill me, or to be less dramatic when I've pushed myself to do something smart even though I didn't want to.

Here's to 2009. May it be everything we hope for, and so much more. God bless us, one and all!! :)